Lisa and Michael Harris decided early in their relationship that children weren't likely in their future.

The Alexandria, Virginia-based couple married in 2019, when Michael was 60 and Lisa 49. While Lisa made clear during one of their first dates that she "reserved the right to adopt," the couple said there was little discussion of having kids after that. Instead, the Harrises have poured their time and resources into their social life, careers and travel. Both work in cybersecurity, and Lisa said getting her two master's degrees would have been more difficult with children.

"I never felt the need," Lisa said. "I felt a-okay to take care of myself, put food on my own table, get myself out the door in the morning. But the thought of dragging some innocent by standard into that? Not so sure."

The two are far from the only ones shrugging off the idea of parenthood.

The U.S. fertility rate reached a historic low last year, with a growing share of women between 25 and 44 having never given birth. Rates aren't expected to pick up any time soon, with surveys showing a growing share of young Americans say they are unlikely to have kids. A new survey from the Pew Research Center looks into the reasons.

“For many of those people, especially women, career was a big factor,” said Amy Blackstone, a sociology professor at the University of Maine and author of the book “Childfree by Choice.” “Those of us who are Gen X and older grew up in an era where we might have been told we could have it all, we could have the career and the kids and everything else, but from our own observations, we knew that wasn't true.”

Why are more Americans saying no to parenthood?

Pew’s recent study examined two groups of U.S. adults: Americans ages 18 to 49 who say they are unlikely to have children and those 50 and older who do not have children. The survey – which polled more than 3,000 people – included both “childfree” Americans who chose not to have children and “childless” adults who are not parents due to circumstances out of their control.

The study follows a 2023 Pew survey that found 47% of U.S. adults younger than 50 without kids said they were unlikely to have children, up 10 percentage points from 2018.

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The most recent Pew survey, published Thursday, found nearly 40% of the older group said parenthood “just never happened,” while the majority of the younger group without kids (57%) said they “just don’t want to” have children. 

Other popular reasons for not having children among those 49 and younger include:

• Wanting to focus on other things (44% versus 21% for the older group)
• Concerns about the state of the world (38% versus 13% for the older group)
• Costs of raising a child (36% versus 12% for the older group)
• Concerns about the environment (26% versus 6% for the older group)

Meanwhile, older adults were more likely to say they didn’t have kids because they didn’t find the right partner (33% versus 24% for the younger group) or due to infertility or other medical reasons (15% versus 13% for the younger group). 

The effects of a child-free life

The majority of adults in both age groups said not having kids has made it easier to afford the things they want, save for the future and have time for hobbies.

Tina Wahlstrom, a childfree 52-year-old nurse based in Minneapolis, Minnesota, describes herself as a caregiver by nature but said the idea of giving birth or adopting was never appealing.

“I never got excited about being a mom, about rearing children, and I put a lot of thought into it,” she told USA TODAY. “I see my friends who have kids who are great and their lives are fun and full, but I don't feel any envy over it."

Without kids, Wahlstrom said she is able to commit her free time to her miniature goldendoodles and hobbies like running and travel.

“We’re usually off somewhere maybe every month or every other month. If we had children, we definitely wouldn't be able to do it. We wouldn't be able to afford it,” she said, adding that the couple typically travels internationally twice a year. “We live pretty simply so that we can travel and do things for ourselves. I don’t think that makes us selfish. It’s just the life we’ve chosen.” 

The majority of younger Americans surveyed also said having no kids has helped their social life (58%) and success in their job or career (61%). 

The Harrises said a life with no kids gives them the freedom and flexibility to travel and see friends at a moment's notice. The two dog sit through the Rover app, but it's easy for them to block off their calendar to visit Greece or Australia.

"We get to have dogs, but it enables our lifestyle," Lisa said. And "I don't feel like I'm taking away Johnny's college fund (by traveling)."

"That's where our maternal, paternal focus has been," Michael added. "We get the idea that we're taking care of something, we're giving something, we're allowing other people to take a break."

'Living my best life'

While surveyed adults listed various perks to not having children, the study also highlighted a number of perceived cons.

Those 50 and older without children were more likely than parents of the same age to frequently worry about having someone who will provide care for them as they age (26% compared to 20%) and being lonely as they age (19% versus 15%), but were less likely to worry frequently about having enough money as they age (35% compared to 46%) or having someone to carry on their values and traditions when they're gone (11% versus 17%).

Others surveyed by Pew reported challenges in the workplace, with one-third of those 50 and older reporting that they’re expected to take on extra work or responsibilities and 30% saying they’re given less flexibility than coworkers with kids. 

Other respondents reported receiving pushback for going against the status quo. More than 40% of older women without kids said they felt pressure to have children at least sometimes from society in general. Thirty-four percent said that pressure came from family members.

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Wahlstrom said she still sees a “big stigma” around not having children online, with people calling couples without children selfish.

“Living my best life has meant no kids,” she said. “Wouldn’t it be weird if we were all the same?”