Why you should stop complimenting people for being 'resilient'

2025-01-11 22:31:41 source: category:Back

The ability to overcome and adapt to difficult life situations seems like an overwhelmingly positive thing – right? After all, being called "strong," "tenacious" or "resilient" is usually perceived as a compliment.

But what if glorifying resilience can actually be detrimental?

For example, take the "strong Black woman" stereotype. According to Professor Inger Burnett-Zeigler, author of Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen: The Emotional Lives of Black Women, internalizing that trope "can often interfere with [Black women] acknowledging their mental health challenges and then going on to get the mental health treatment."

So we revisited the concept of "resilience" with Lourdes Dolores Follins, psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker. She explains why it's OK to let yourself feel angry or frustrated sometimes — and how unexamined resilience can mask structural forces that make your life harder.

This comic, written and illustrated by Connie Hanzhang Jin, is inspired by a Life Kit episode featuring Lourdes Dolores Follins and hosted by TK Dutes. You can listen to the audio at the top of this page.


The audio portion of this episode was produced by Audrey Nguyen and Vanessa Handy, with engineering support from Stacey Abbott. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected].

Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or sign up for our newsletter.

More:Back

Recommend

Rep. Michael McCaul of Texas says he was detained in airport over being ‘disoriented’

Republican Rep. Michael McCaul, the chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, said he was det

6 killed in small plane crash in Southern California

All six people aboard a twin-engine plane were killed when it crashed amid poor visibility while try

How new words get minted (Indicator favorite)

This week, we're sharing some of our favorite Indicator episodes from 2022! Today, we hear one of Wa